FOUR MISSES AND A METEOR
by Slightly Askew
Summary: A would-be "cosmic lemon" becomes a "lemonade" for a senior citizen center thanks to the quartet known as Miss Captain Mars. The second story in the sagas of Miss Captain Mars.


+AMDG+

Time: Present day

Place: Port Vespucci, District of Tidewater

* * *

"Abigail," he shouted from across the hall. "Get yourself back over here. It's too cold to go staring at the sky."

"I'm tellin' yah, Pete, there's something comin' down here," she shouted in reply, pulling her sweater closer around her. "Call administration."

"Honey, they got better things to do with their time than wish upon a star."

"Well that star is headin' this way," she said. "Get them on the phone and get some help."

He exhaled, disgusted. "Alright, but it's on your head, not mine."

It tumbled closer, glowing green and yellow through plumes of smoke and gas. The roar of it's approach grew louder than thunder.

"Could have moved to a better senior center like I told yah...hello? Yeah, main desk? I'm calling from the front entrance. My wife wants me to report we got something coming this way from the sky."

"Don't be sarcastic, Pete. It's coming closer."

"Yeah...yeah...Shea's the last name...okay, thanks. Abby, get away from the door."

She squealed, covered her eyes with her hands as she bent down to await the impact.

Seconds passed.

Then a minute.

Then two minutes.

She straightened up, slowed down her breathing.

She opened her eyes to spy a pink-clad woman girdled in a bright pink haze embracing the large meteorite. A long pink cape draped over her shoulders down to her waist. Her pink knee-length boots glowed with a sharp intensity. She uttered a loud groan as she pushed it away from the ground.

"My word," Abigail gasped. "This can't be happening."

"Oh Lord, give me strength," the pink-clad woman gasped, turning the meteorite to get a better grasp. Behind her, the old woman slipped outside, arms holding her shoulders in fear and awe.

"You...you're...Miss Captain Mars? You're...really...real?"

"Since 1975," said the woman, her shaggy mop of raven hair streaked with gray. "Now if y'all would kindly tell me...where to put...this here rock..."

It spat out smoke and hissed steam from several sides, while other parts glowed red. One crevice gleamed white-hot, threatening to burst asunder at any moment.

"Hold on, Mama," came a scream from above them.

Abigail saw another woman wrapped in a pink haze slam into the scalding rock. Her uniform was cape-less, a knee-length skirt covering her own knee-high glowing boots.

"Push, Julia," hissed the older woman. The meteorite moved up and away from the doors.

"My word," Abigail gulped. "There are...two of you?"

Pete came back followed by a pair of nurses, their mouths agape in wonder. The taller nurse, camera-phone in front of her, kept shaking her head in amazement.

"Jasmine, we could use some help here," said Julia.

In a moment, a third woman descended dressed in pink, her haze stronger and oval shaped. Her uniform was a pink jacket with white buttons, ankle-length skirt and glowing ankle boots. She rammed her shoulder into the space rock, lifting it higher in the air.

"Don't hurt yourself, girl," barked the Captain. "Take it easy."

"Yes, Grandma," she said, turning to watch Pete and the nurses gingerly open the front doors. "Um...good evening?"

"Jazz," Julia said, using her nickname. "We're not doing a social visit here."

"THREE?" Abigail yelped. "There's...three of you?"

"Juniper, need some help in the back?" came a voice above them.

"If y'all would?" She turned to lock eyes with the gathering crowd. "Actually...we're...four."

Coming into view was another woman in pink, this time a pink turtleneck and ankle-length skirt and sneakers. Like the others, she wore a logo of two capital Ms and a capital C in a circle in the center of her chest. Unlike the others, she wore a pair of black gloves with pink stripes on each side. She lowered herself behind the huge stone, grasped the pointed end with both hands.

"Cordelia, you pull at your end, okay?"

"Say when."

"When!" The quarter spun the meteorite around and away from the doors, now opened to allow both staff and more residents outdoors to gaze at the spectacle.

"Ah, sir," Jasmine asked, pointing at Pete. "Would you happen to know where we can safely put this thing?"

"Well, uh," he said, rubbing his chin. "Try out back near the swimming pool. There's an old grassy area near there would do just fine."

"Good enough," said Juniper. "Ladies...lift!" They pushed the sputtering meteorite to the right as they raised it above their heads. The heat from it made the quartet wince as they rose above the roofs.

"Well, I'll be damned," shouted Pete, scratching his head.

"I'd rather you'd not," Cordelia yelled. "Too many in Hell as it is already!" The growing crowd behind him chuckled.

"Great," he murmured. "Everybody's a Billy Graham nowadays."

"Funny," the shorter of the nurses said. "Her shoes aren't glowing."

"Ain't wearing boots," said the tall nurse, camera-phone now close to her eyes. "Gotta download this to the Web when it's all over."

"Shouldn't you call 911?" said Abigail.

"First things first, ma'am. And this comes first."

* * *

The four women floated over the swimming pool to the grassy field behind it, the haze they generated keeping the scalding heat from roasting them whole.

"Do you want a total mineral scan on this thing?" Cordelia asked. "Or should we let the authorities do it?"

"Make it a quick one for our sake," said Juniper. "The college eggheads can do the detailed one later on."

"Couldn't we dump some pool water on this thing?" asked Jasmine.

"No, there's nothing here to catch fire from it," said Julia. "We'll probably have nightmares from all this, I'll bet."

"Chamomile tea and St. John's Wort to ease the tension," said Juniper. "Old fashioned wisdom from my hippie days long ago."

The crowd of nurses and residents now poured out into the pool area, keeping their distance from the quartet of floating females. The quartet gingerly set the meteorite down on the grass, heaved a collective sigh of thanks.

Cordelia touched a stripe on her left arm. "CortexLink in five...four...three...two...one..."

A thin beam of light encircled her skull, ending in a square over the back of her head. Seven similar thin beams shot out from the circle, landing on the space rock, scanning it in a cross-hatch pattern.

"What are we looking at, Cordy?" Jasmine asked.

"Silicon, aluminum, some cobalt, magnesium...hold on. Checking the core." She bent her head, the light beams now narrowing into a long, thin cylinder shape.

Abigail and Pete crept up toward them, the tall nurse with the camera-phone behind them recording every moment.

"Please don't get too close," said Julia, turning towards them. "This thing is wicked hot."

"What's with them boots?" asked Abigail. "Are they radioactive or somethin'?"

"Oh please," she groaned. "Not again."

"Ma'am, I've been tryin' to figure that out for nigh-on forty years," said Juniper, hands on hips. "And I still don't know why."

"And me for twenty. Same results here."

"What about you?" Pete asked, sticking his thumb toward Jasmine.

"I figure Our Father in Heaven will let us know why when He wants it. So I don't ask."

"Confirmed," said Cordelia. "The core is pure platinum. Absolutely pure."

"Whoa," Juniper exhaled, as Cordelia touched her glove again. The beams and the circle of light vanished. The crowd of spectators whooped and hollered with delight.

"We are so rich," said the tall nurse, putting away her phone.

"Yeah and the IRS will thank you for all the taxes from this," Pete said, his thumb now aimed at the rock.

"Forever cheerful," said Abigail. She approached Julia, hands clasped. "How can we ever thank you for..."

"Call the cops and tell them about the rock here. Let them take it from there."

"Of course."

"G'night, y'all," Juniper said, touching a button on her gauntlet. "Ladies, go to a hundred feet, then follow my lead home."

"Yes, ma'am," said the other three. Grasping their gauntlets, they rose into the air behind her, flattening themselves for flight. The crowd erupted in grateful cheers below them.

"Flight mode in three..two...one...NOW!"

With a loud WHOOSH, the quartet sped into the night air.

####THE END####


End file.
